The Final Dublin Diary

It’s been a year. Not since I stepped foot in a foreign country but since I got accepted into this program to start my journey abroad. It’s been a year, a year since I started blogging, writing about my journey beginning to navigate life independently. Your journey abroad isn’t something that starts once you step off the plane but rather one that begins with the preparation of planning, deciding and mentally preparing oneself for the journey ahead. It’s been a year since I sat down and looked at new places to explore in Dublin, landmarks to see, plan trips to European countries and realize that this would be the next step into adulthood.

It’s been 5 months since I returned from Dublin, since I returned from the independence, self-growth and individualism that I built all to feel as if that piece of myself is hidden somewhere now. Shes hiding, waiting for the time when she can emerge again. We fall into old patterns when we return to environments that we outgrew, and we don’t realize it. Patterns that are not reflective of the growth that we have accomplished, but rather of the person we were. Sadly, I’m here to say that what leads to try growth cannot exist without failure or these setbacks. I realized I had developed habits such as self-understanding, emotional strength, vulnerability and a new sense of independence which was fading as soon as I returned home, and I missed it. Even though I spent most of my time in Dublin being a person I would have envied had I stayed in Texas, I realized that the environment does predict the person that we develop into. However, this conundrum was something which I realized that a lot of my other study abroad friends felt as well. Exploring outside of the bounds of our comfort transform us into creatures that we find to appreciate. We love the growth; we understand the amount of work that goes into discovering the world and yourself. We miss the connections, the ideas and the late-night conversations outside of pubs, in alleys, or on train rides. Through conversations upon returning, I realized that students that traveled with me were facing the same thing, missing the place and the person that we were when in Dublin. So, how do we get back to that headspace which we so desperately crave?

Making time for yourself. As a study abroad student, we explored things ourselves, sat in silence eating meals by ourselves and even traveled to different countries by ourselves. Being at home obviously makes it hard for us to fall by these rules but being able to find pathways to support independency is the key. Maybe shift your routine, step out, go on more walks, explore new coffee shops, sit with the fact that life has changed. Find a new space or you could even try to go back (me currently). But know that you aren’t alone. Even if you have not studied abroad, you might still face these issues and know that others also struggle navigating this patch of adulthood.

Ultimately, this feeling of disconnect isn’t a sign that the growth disappeared, but rather that it’s waiting to be integrated into my current life. It’s about taking the essence of who I was in Dublin – that adventurous, independent, and curious individual – and finding ways to express that here and now. Whether it’s planning a new solo adventure, diving into a new hobby, or simply committing to that ‘me time’ you cherished abroad, the journey of self-discovery continues. What new spaces will you explore, both geographically and within yourself, to keep that spirit alive?